Lissia's Xena/Ares Fan Fiction
Aphrodite sighs
as she sits herself daintily onto her pink thrown. She pouts, “What? Is everyone too busy to spend time with
me?” She had been having this problem
for awhile now and it had finally gotten to the point where she was
desperate. She begins to talk to
herself, “Cupie is off with his family in Chin or something for some odd
bonding activity. Hephe is working on
something for Daddy. Daddy! No, he’s banging some two dinar whore in
Athens. Hera? No, I’m not that desperate. Discord is annoying. Ar is off starting a war. Strife is dead, poor guy, I miss him. Apollo is showing off his chariot’s floor to
a mortal wench that caught his eye.
Artemis is obsessing over some Amazon problem in Sumeria. Athena is playing games with her Chosen,
Alanis. I’m all alone! Oh well, time to think about mortals. Hercules isn’t interested in spending time
with me and Iolous is dead, poor curly, I’m going to miss him. Joxer is off with Xena and Gabrielle. Oh!
There’s the answer!” She claps
her hands and disappears into the ether with a squeal.
Aphrodite appears in a very pretty valley. She looks around and sees Gabrielle sitting by a tree, writing in a scroll, “Haven’t you learned your lesson from all that scroll business?” She asks sarcastically as she goes to sit next to the bard. Gabrielle’s head shoots up, “Hi, Aphrodite. What’s wrong? Someone steal a precious gem from your temple or do you need us to steal one for you?” Aphrodite giggles, “No, nothing like that. Actually, I wanted to talk to the warrior babe, where is she?” Gabrielle shakes her head, “Only you would call her that. She’s taking a bath in the lake.” Aphrodite smiles, “Thanks, doll. I’ll be back later. Tootles!” Aphrodite disappears in a shower of pink sparks. Gabrielle shakes her head and wipes her eyes until her vision returns to normal, “Only Aphrodite,” she mutters.
Aphrodite strolls up to the edge of the lake and whistles. She can see Xena turn around, but the warrior doesn’t make a move to come closer to shore. Aphrodite rolls her eyes, refusing to yell, and makes a pink shell appear out of nowhere. She smiles and stands on it, using it to sail out to Xena. Stopping the shell next to the swimming warrior woman, Aphrodite smiles and sits down, “Hey Xe, what’s up?” Xena looks up and gives her a half-irritated glare, “Are you really so bored as to take to torturing me?” She splashes the Goddess with some water and Aphrodite huffs, flicking the water off of her perfect body. Then she pouts, “Xena! I just wanted to talk to you about something... Or should I say someone,” the Goddess says with an evil smile. Xena rolls her eyes, “Alright, which warlord is messing up your temples?” When Aphrodite doesn’t reply, Xena starts to get a little concerned, “Aphrodite, what’s wrong?” The Goddess looks down at her, then turns to face the wind, “It’s Ar.” Xena shakes her head, “I don’t care what it is, the answer is no.” “It didn’t used to be,” Aphrodite snaps back. Xena looks away, knowing that the Goddess has a point, then quietly says, “Things have changed.” Aphrodite reaches out and puts a hand on Xena’s wet shoulder, “They can change again. And so can your wardrobe!” Xena looks startled, “What?” She asks carefully. The Goddess smiles as a plan forms itself in her perfectly blonde mind, “For the ball, Xena! I am inviting you, Gabrielle, and Joxer to an Olympian ball.” She sees Xena shaking her head and puts her hands up. “No protesting on this one Xena. It’s for old times sake. Everyone will be there. You see, the other Gods have been so busy, we haven’t had time to relax and catch up in a long time. This will be perfect,” the Goddess explains. Xena growls, “Why me?” Aphrodite squeals, “It’s not just you. I’ll be getting Hercules to come along. Maybe that friend of theirs, Salmoneus, he can be fun. Oh, and I’ll even invite Autolycus. And I’m sure the other Gods will be dragging in a few mortals, but I’m making sure I invite all the cool ones. So, you see, you have to come! Please? It won’t be a party without you!” Xena rolls her eyes, feeling herself being sucked into the black hole that is Aphrodite. “Fine,” she says, “But, what are you planning? And what does this have to do with Ares? You aren’t going to try some new love spell on me, are you?” Aphrodite giggles, “Nothing like that Xena. I just think everyone needs a chance to be together while we’re all not trying to kill each other. It will be a nice break from reality. Now, you tell Gabrielle and Joxer, I have a lot of work ahead of me. Two weeks, huh?” Xena nods, “Yeah, two weeks, Aphrodite.” The Goddess squeals with delight and disappears, taking her pink shell with her. Xena rolls her eyes and swims back to shore, “Just wait until Gabrielle gets a load of this one,” she mutters, while getting dressed.
Xena stalks into camp and drops her wet towel on Joxer, then lets herself drop to a log with a loud thud. Gabrielle looks up and Joxer gives her an annoyed look. Xena looks half apologetically at them, then declares, “We’re going to an Olympian party in two weeks.” That being said, she collapses into her bedroll and refuses to answer the questions that Gabrielle and Joxer are yelling at her. Finally Joxer returns to his bedroll and falls into a deep sleep. Gabrielle is not so lucky. She tries to go to sleep, but can’t. Finally she gives up and walks over to the lake. “Aphrodite, can I talk to you?” She asks the air. There’s no reply and she tries again, “Oh Mighty Aphrodite, Goddess of Love and Beauty, I, a humble mortal, ask for your presence and guidance.” At first there’s nothing, then there’s a flash and a dark, male figure appears, laughing. “She never answers mortals, not even you. Now Xena, maybe, doubtfully, but maybe,” Ares says, still laughing. Gabrielle rolls her eyes, “So why are you here?” He smirks, “To laugh at you and sense you’re so desperate for my ditsy sisters help and she won’t give it, I thought I would offer what help I could. After all I’m sure your problem has something to do with Xena and I am an expert in that department.” Gabrielle stares at him, then throws him for a loop, “Well, you see it all started when your were mortal.” He nods, slightly curious. She smiles evilly, then turns to stare at him, “You see, I couldn’t help it. I’m only mortal. But I fell for you. I can’t explain it, but I think I love you.” He stares at her, true fear written on his face, then disappears. Gabrielle breaks into laughter, “Score,” she whispers, then continues to laugh. She jumps when a higher laugh joins her. Behind her stands Aphrodite in all her splendor, “Hi toots. That was great. He is now trying to find me to see what kind of spell I have on you. Wait, you don’t love him, do you? I mean I’m not picking anything up, but you don’t, right?” Gabrielle nods, “I don’t love him. I just wanted to get rid of him and get your attention.” Aphrodite huffs, “I’ve been played! Well, sense I’m here, what’s up?” Gabrielle sighs, “What’s this I hear about an Olympian ball?” Aphrodite smiles, “That’s all you wanted to know and hear I was thinking it had to do with Joxer or something.” Gabrielle’s eyes go wide and a stricken look covers her face. Aphrodite dismisses it, “It’s just a little get together. Nothing big. The Gods and a few mortals, that’s all. It will be fancy though, so find something nice within the next two weeks. And try to get Xena excited about it. She loves these things, or at least she used to and I want her to enjoy herself.” Gabrielle nods and the Goddess disappears. Gabrielle shakes her head, “Later,” she says to the wind. She returns to camp, happy to know what’s going on and still giggling about her little confession to Ares. Soon she falls to sleep, having dreams about Olympus and scantily clothed Gods.
Aphrodite jerks when someone grabs her arm from behind, “Hey! If that leaves a mark, I swear,” she starts, turning around, then seeing Ares, she relaxes, “Oh, Ar, it’s just you. Oh! I’ve got some amazing news for you.” His eyes blaze, “Shut-up Aphrodite. What in Tartarus did you do to Gabrielle?” Aphrodite looks confused, playing the bards game to a T, “Nothing, why?” “Why?” He shouts. Seeing that his sister is clueless, he calms down, “She’s in love.” Aphrodite nods, “Yes, mortals do that.” He starts to pace, “No! She’s in love with me.” Aphrodite gasps in shock, “I don’t believe it. I’ve never picked up anything from her like that, well, except for that one time and oh yeah that other time. Why didn’t I put two and two together sooner. Who would of thought that I could get ten from it?” He looks confused, “Four,” he corrects, then waves a hand in dismissal, “Fine, well, fix it, alright?” The Goddess shakes her perfect head, making her curls bounce, “No can do, Bro. This is for real. You have to deal with it on your own. Maybe you could enlist Xena’s help at the Olympian ball in two weeks. They’re all invited.” His eyes go wide, “Ball?” He asks. She smiles happily, “Yes, I thought that sense there’s nothing earth shattering going on right now, we could all get together with a few of the cool mortals and just chill. It’s been so long sense we’ve had a family party.” He shakes his head, “I won’t be going.” She grabs his arm and her nails dig in a little, “Oh yes you will. I’m putting this together for you and the warrior babe, so you’re going to be there. In fact, I think you’re going to help me hand out invitations. But, your first mission is to talk to Xena and see if she needs help with a dress and stuff, you know how good you are with that sort of thing. And face it, she wears the same thing everyday for a reason. She needs help. Don’t mention the bard thing to her though, let her find out on her own.” He nods weakly, knowing better than to argue with his sister. She smiles, “Good, now your little Xena is awake, of course so is everyone else, but go have a talk with her, will you?” He nods and disappears, glaring at his sister.
Ares arrives in the middle of Xena’s camp, standing in the fire. She glares at him, then stifles back a laugh as he notices the fire and steps out of it. “Hello, Ares,” Gabrielle greets from her perch near a tree. He looks over at her and she begins to bat her eyes and smile seductively. He rolls his eyes and grabs Xena’s arm, “We need to talk, alone. It will only take a minute.” She nods and smiles at seeing him so uncomfortable. “I’ll be right back,” she says to Gabrielle, who’s smiling broadly. Ares half drags her until they reach the lake. She finally jerks away from him, “Alright, what’s going on?” He begins to pace in front of her and she taps her foot with impatience. He stares at the foot, the naked foot and smiles a little, then looks up at her pointed face and grimaces, before resuming his pacing. She sighs and grabs his arm as he paces in front of her. She sits down and jerks him until he sits next to her. She quickly removes her hand from his arm, “What’s wrong?” “Nothing,” he snaps. She suppresses a giggle, “Not happy about the ball, huh?” He shakes his head, then nods, seeing it as cover for the truth, “I’m happier about it than you, I’m sure. At least I know how to dress,” he says sarcastically. She glares at him, “Is that why you’re here? To make sure that I look perfect for Aphrodite’s little party?” He nods, “Strict orders from the Goddess of Love herself. So, what do you need?” She laughs, then replies sarcastically, “Oh nothing. After all I carry a dress in my saddle bag and I have more pieces of jewelry than I can count. Oh and shoes, well those I can just pick up anywhere.” He smiles at her sarcasm, “You have no clue, huh?” She nods and looks away. “Don’t worry,” he starts, “Get stuff for Gabrielle and Joxer, I’ll take care of you. I’m sure I can find something suitable,” he says, eyeing her figure through the leather bodice. She glares at him, “Two weeks, then?” He nods, “Probably before. After all you don’t want to get stuck with something you don’t like.” She curls her lip at him and starts back for camp. He appears beside her, “What? No good-bye kiss?” She glares at him, then just to throw him for a loop(everyone wants to do that right now), she quickly wraps her arms around him and pulls him into a passionate kiss. She moves back and he stares at her as she walks away, swaying her hips slightly. He shakes his head, “Women,” and disappears.
A week later, Aphrodite finds herself in full party mode, decorating and giving out details left and right. Finally finding herself with a free moment, she goes to hunt down her brother. She finds him brooding in the Halls of War. She appears in front of him and sits herself down on a fluffy pillow that appears from thin air. “So, still bummed about that last war?” He rolls his eyes, “I didn’t have anything riding on that war, Dite.” She smiles and looks intrigued, “Well, if not bummed about a war, then there’s only one thing left, girl trouble. Dish it,” she orders. He glances down at her and seeing an honestly interested face staring up at him, he gives in, “It’s this whole thing with the bard. Earlier today, I popped up to convince Xena to fight in that little battle I had going, which she did, even if she was fighting against my army. But, that’s not the point, the point is that girl! She sat there smiling and batting her eyes at me. Dite, she was checking me out! I have never been that uncomfortable.” Aphrodite laughs, she had never thought that Gabrielle would keep the act up so long, “Just stay away from Gabrielle. If you just have to talk to Xena, go when the bard isn’t around. You need to use your brain once in awhile, Ar. Now onto more important things! Xena’s outfit, how’s it going?” He nods and smiles wickedly, then snaps his fingers. Aphrodite smiles at the royal blue dress that flouts in front of her. She looks it over, smiling at the low V-neckline, the bar back and the off the shoulder sleeves. She looks down, seeing how stick straight it is and her smile broadens. Her eyes land on the shoes and she rolls her eyes, “Ar, do you remember Xena in heels?” He smiles wickedly remembering her falling into him because of heels and Aphrodite shoves him a little. “Fine, no heels,” he says cutting the bottoms off of them. Aphrodite shakes her head and grabs the shoes, making them into a real pair of flats in a matching shade of blue. “What about jewelry?” The Goddess asks, returning the shoes to their flouting position. He shrugs, “She has what I want her to wear. She took the sapphires with her when she left. She’ll never admit that, of course, but she has them.” Aphrodite nods, “I thought you didn’t give her the ring.” I didn’t,” he responds, “I will though.” She smiles and gives him a hug, letting herself fall onto his lap, “So, when are you going to take this to Xena?” He shrugs, “The party’s still a few night away, so I’ll bring it to her the night before. Then she can yell if she doesn’t like it and I can find something else.” Aphrodite giggles and kisses his cheek, then jerks away a little, “Groody, Bro! Did we forget how to shave? Or is this how you plan to get rid of Gabrielle?” He stands up, letting Aphrodite slide off his lap, “I’ll deal with it later,” he says, annoyed. Aphrodite shrugs, “Well, I’ll see you at the party if not before. Later Bro!” Ares sighs as his sister disappears, after all she can get quite annoying after awhile.
Xena sighs as she sits on a rock in a small clearing, watching the sunset. It’s the night before the party and she hadn’t heard anything about it sense that original meeting with Aphrodite. A tingle goes up her spine and she arches a brow, “Hello Ares.” He appears beside her, carrying a leather bag. He hands it to her, then sits down next to her on the log. Xena reaches into the bag and pulls out a dainty pair of shoes. She glances at him, “No heels? I’m amazed,” she says sarcastically. He smiles, “If I had brought heels, you would have worn your boots.” She smiles, then pulls out the dress. For a minute the smile disappears and he looks down, “You don’t like it, do you?” She smiles again and her eyes twinkle a little, “It’s amazing. I like it.” He smiles. She reaches back into the bag and finds nothing else in it. She turns to him questioningly, “No jewelry? I’m amazed.” He smirks, “You already have it. You took the sapphire necklace, bracelet and earrings with you when you left, remember?” She smiles, “Those, yes I remember. And yes, I still have them.” He nods, “Uh, there was one thing missing from the set, here,” he says, handing her a small box, “Don’t open it yet. You’ve had enough surprises for one night. Anyway, the bard is looking for you. I’ll see you tomorrow. I think Aphrodite will be coming to get you three. She has me scheduled to deal with Hercules, Salmoneus, and Autolycus. Don’t I get the fun people?” He says sarcastically. Xena smiles, but doesn’t get a chance to reply because Gabrielle has found them, “Hello, Ares, it’s been quite a long time,” the girl states, smiling seductively, pretending to check him out. Ares nods and disappears. “Score four,” Gabrielle whispers. Xena looks over at her friend, then puts her gown into the bag before Gabrielle catches sight of it.
Several hours before the ball, Xena and Gabrielle are in a room in Athens Inn of Gifts, trying to get dressed. Gabrielle slips into a baby blue dress that fits tightly. She pulls on a simple necklace of silver and blue beads with a matching bracelet. She turns to Xena and smiles, “We match,” she says as she slips into a pair of heels. Xena smiles, and motions for Gabrielle to help her clasp her necklace shut. Finally dressed, Xena sighs and sits on the bed. The bag that had held the dress falls to the floor and a light clunk can be heard. Gabrielle bends over and searches in the bag until she finds a small box. She hands it to Xena. Xena smiles, slightly embarrassed. She opens the box and inside rests a silver colored ring with a sapphire surrounded by diamonds in the shape of a heart. Her cheeks redden as Gabrielle gasps. Xena puts the ring aside, but Gabrielle forces it back into her hand, “Xena, it completes the set and it’s beautiful. Put it on, straighten your hair, and get that look off your face. I’m going to get Joxer, then we can wait for Aphrodite together.” Xena nods and does as she’s told as Gabrielle leaves the room. The bard walks down the hall and knocks on the door next to hers, “Joxer, it’s me, are you ready?” She hears shuffling inside, then the door opens and there stands Joxer in a black suit with a shirt that oddly matches Gabrielle’s dress. An untied tie rests around his neck. “Hi, Gabby.” She smiles at him and reaches up to fix the tie. “Let’s go, Xena’s waiting for us.” He stares at her for a minute then runs to catch up with her and open the door for her. She smiles at him, “Thanks,” she says. As they walk into the room, they are greeted by Aphrodite in an elaborate, yet skin showing pink dress with a slit that goes far too far up the side and a neckline that dips a little too much. “Ready?” The Goddess asks. The three nod and the room begins to melt around them.
Gabrielle and Joxer stumble when their feet hit solid ground again. Xena takes it all in stride and quickly surveys the area. She glances over at Aphrodite and sees the Goddess giving her a dirty look. The woman reaches over and dips her fingers into Xena’s bosoms to retrieve a dagger. She waves the dagger in front of Xena’s face, then motions towards her thigh, “I’m not going after that one, but you aren’t bringing that inside. Come on, take it off or I’ll find someone who will be more than happy to retrieve it.” Xena glares, then hikes her dress up enough to pluck a dagger off of her thigh. She hands it to Aphrodite who beams. “Let’s get inside! I didn’t work so hard so that we could stand outside the doors.” She strides forward and swings the doors open, letting them into the brightly lit room. Xena blinks a little, then walks into the room, immediately scanning for her other mortal friends. Gabrielle walks in beside her and points to a far corner where Hercules is standing alone. As they head in that direction, Gabrielle passes by Ares and reaches out to get a handful. She smiles when he jumps and keeps walking. Xena leans over, “What are you doing?” She asks, laughter in her voice. Gabrielle smiles, “Playing.” They both laugh and strike up a conversation with Hercules.
Ares stares after the bard, then walks over to his sister, “Did you see that?” Aphrodite giggles, “I saw. And I saw how red you got. Go rescue the warrior babe, Herc is talking about the last monster he killed and she looks bored.” He looks over at Xena and sees her politely listening, then watches as Hercules’ eyes wonder towards her chest. He rolls his eyes and leans over to his sister, “That is disgusting.” She smiles, “Go rescue her.” He looks back over and finds the bard staring at him, then turns away as she blows him a kiss. “I think I’ll wait for the bard to walk away,” he says to his sister. Aphrodite laughs. “Alright, I’m getting the message: Dite get rid of her for two seconds, so my face can go back to its normal color. I get it Ar,” she says strolling over to grab Gabrielle by the arm. She leans close to the short blonde, “Ar wants to dance,” she says while leading Gabrielle over towards her brother. Ares stares at the two approaching women with anger. Gabrielle smiles and eyes him, then grabs his vest and drags him to the dance floor. He glances at his sister, who is laughing lightly while trying to talk to Hera about something or other. He sighs and dances with the bard, trying not to jerk every time she lets her hands wander.
Xena smiles at Hercules, then looks for Gabrielle. She takes in everything, expecting to find her friend near the food bar, then still not finding her glances at the dance floor. She gasps and begins to laugh, making herself fall into Hercules. His gaze follows hers and shock registers on his face when he sees Gabrielle hanging on his brother and occasionally letting a hand wander. He pushes Xena upright, then playing the good guy, stalks over to interrupt the dance. After a few minutes he returns, looking rejected, “What’s up with Gabrielle? I tried to help her out, but she wouldn’t come with me. And Ares actually looked afraid. Xena, what’s going on?” Xena stops laughing and strides over to Gabrielle. She taps her friend on the shoulder and raises an eyebrow, “Gabrielle, someone is looking for you over by the food bar. Oh, they have some awesome nutbread over there.” Gabrielle pretends to pout, then smiles and turns to Ares, “I’ll be back soon, darling.” He nods weakly and turns to Xena, who has started to walk away. He grabs her arm and pulls her back until she loses her balance and falls into him. “Yes?” She asks, arching her eyebrow. “Thanks,” he says quietly, then asks, “Does she really love me?” Xena smiles and plays along, “Well, from what she says in her sleep, yes she does.” He shakes his head and looks disgusted, “Just my luck.” Xena smiles, “Follow me,” she orders. As quickly as possible she leads him into a quiet corner out of sight of everyone else, “She won’t find you here. Although I never knew the God of War was one to hide from a little girl.” He looks irritated, then smiles, “This is some crazy game, isn’t it? This is your sick idea of revenge because I banged Hope.” Xena bursts into laughter and playfully hits his chest, “I have nothing to do with this. It’s all Gabrielle. Look, you stay here or go face the love bird, I don’t care, but I’m going to go say hello to a few people and stop Autolycus from stealing your father’s lightening bolts.” She walks off and grabs Autolycus by the ear as she heads over to Aphrodite. “No more stealing,” she warns, releasing his ear. He rubs it gently, “Hello, Xena.” She smiles, “I need a favor from you.” He cocks an eyebrow at her and she continues, “Dance with Gabrielle for awhile. She’s been torturing someone for the past two weeks and I thought it might be nice to let the poor guy breath a little.” Autolycus nods and strolls over to Gabrielle. Aphrodite walks up next to Xena, “Aw, I was having so much fun watching her work. So, what’s wrong Xena?” The Goddess asks. Xena shrugs, “Nothing, but why is Artemis eyeing me like that?” Aphrodite glances at the other Goddess, then looks away, “She’s mad at you about some Amazon thing and a chick named Alti who doesn’t know how to bathe.” Xena nods, “I’ll avoid her then.” Aphrodite nods, then leans closer to Xena, “Want to know a secret?” Xena nods, playing the Goddess’ game. Aphrodite squeals, “There’s two! First, Joxer and Gabby are so going to get it on before the night is over. And second, my brother is in love... With you.” Xena turns to the Goddess, but Aphrodite has disappeared and is now talking to Salmoneus about a theme song. Xena shakes her head, then jumps when someone wraps their arms around her from behind. She turns to find Ares there and jerks away from him a little, “Reminiscing?” He nods and puts an arm around her waist. She shakes her head, but doesn’t attempt to move, instead she says, “Your sister thinks you’re in love with me. You would think that the Goddess of Love would know the difference between love and lusty hormones.” He nods again, “She does,” he replies simply. She nudges him, “Look, I don’t want to screw up her little party by fighting with you, so let’s get one thing clear: Don’t try to lie to me tonight.” He nods, “Okay, I haven’t lied yet and won’t any other time,” he agrees. He leans closer and whispers, “Do me a favor?” She arches an eyebrow, “What is it?” She asks quietly. He smiles, knowing her answer, “I want to make Hercules and Discord jealous. But I can’t do that without your help.” She smiles and nods, “I’ll help. Discord and I have issues and Hercules was staring at my chest. What’s your plan?” He smiles evilly and kisses her passionately. She begins to pull away, ready to slap him or knee him, but soon finds herself unable to do anything other than return his kiss. He pulls back after a few minutes and eyes her, “This just got inappropriate,” he says quietly. She raises an eyebrow questioningly. He smiles and squeezes her legs which are wrapped around him. She blushes and pushes him a little, then lands cleanly on her feet. She looks around, trying not to meet his eyes, then finds that everyone is staring at them. Her blush grows and she begins to walk to the food bar. Ares follows her, carefully avoiding his mother’s gaze.
Xena shakes her head, trying to clear it, and before she knows it, she has run straight into Hera. She groans, “Hello Hera.” Hera smiles evilly, “It’s good to see that some things never change, Xena. It looks like your attraction to my son is still as strong as ever. And as inappropriate as it was before.” Xena smiles coolly, “Yes, Hera, it looks like I still control him even after all of these years.” Hera sniffs, then her expression softens, “Don’t hurt him again, Xena. A mother can only forgive a person so many times. If you’re just going to use him and leave, do yourself a favor and stop this before it goes any farther.” Xena’s eyes go wide, “So, it’s true, isn’t it? He loves me, doesn’t he?” Hera nods slowly and smiles at her son, who is watching them closely. Then she turns back to Xena, “It surprised me at first too. But, I can feel it now and I accept it. My son needs someone in his life to remind him of where his loyalties lay.” The Queen of the Gods shakes her head, “I want to see him happy.” Xena nods and walks away, heading towards Aphrodite. She grabs the Goddess roughly by the arm, “What did you do to me?” Aphrodite shakes her head, “Not me, babe and not Cupie either or Bliss. This is all you. I can feel it, Gods everyone in this room can feel it and they just saw it. Xena, I have a theory. I know that you loved him before, so at least as close to love as you could get in those days. When you turned good, you thought that you had to leave him and that whatever you two had was over. But it wasn’t and every time you saw him, you were reminded of that and you hated him for making you feel like that. Stop me when I go astray from the truth. So anyway, he’s going through the same feelings and convinces himself that he can force you back. But you, never being one to respond well to force, fight against him until you’re both convinced that you hate each other. But in the quiet of the night, you both know the truth and it’s tearing you both up on the inside. Being here is reminding you both of the old days when I held one of these parties every month and you two would come and then, um, have your own private party in a dark corner.” Xena blushes and Aphrodite smiles, “Of course I knew, silly. Now, why don’t you try to let those feelings out of the box and go have a good time with my big Bro. But first, I need you to convince Herc not to do something stupid like what he just did,” she says, exasperatedly. A punch bowl flies towards a far wall and Xena whips around to see the beginnings of a fight between Hercules and Ares. She flips over and lands between the two, eyeing each in turn. Xena fixes Hercules with a steely gaze, “Stop,” she orders. Hercules stutters a little, then sighs when her expression doesn’t change, “You can’t be serious,” he breathes. Xena smiles, “I’m trying to enjoy myself. If you don’t like it, don’t look.” Ares smiles at his younger brother, a smiles full of mockery and Xena turns to glare at him, “Don’t provoke him. Be nice to each other for this one night, that’s all I ask.” Tentatively she steps out from between the two. They nod at each other, neither happy with the situation. Hercules walks off muttering, until Gabrielle stops him, “She loves him,” she says quietly, “Give her a chance to find happiness, I am.” Hercules glares at her, then shrinks down a little and nods weakly. Gabrielle smiles, “Come on, let’s dance,” she says, dragging him to the dance floor.
Xena smiles at the newest couple on the floor, then her eyes land on Joxer, who’s sitting all by himself. Ares follows her gaze and smiles sadly at the poor lad. He stops Xena from going over to him and goes himself. Xena smiles and watches the two. “Hey Joxer, why are you all alone? Lot’s of pretty women around here, of course most are my sisters, so maybe you should keep your hands off them,” the God says, trying to get a smile from the distraught man. Joxer doesn’t respond, but holds out a little box. Ares takes it and opens it to reveal a gold ring with a dolphin on it and a diamond, he nods, “It’s really nice, but I’m not interested in you like that. I kind of prefer females in leather with swords and hidden daggers and a Chakram. Of course when that same women is in a dress with hidden daggers, I’m just as happy.” Joxer snatches the box away, “It’s not for you! It’s for Gabrielle,” he says quietly. Ares nods, “I know, but it isn’t getting any closer to her when it stays in your pocket. Go give it to her or if you can’t, have someone else give it to her.” Joxer looks up at the God, “Would you? That would be great,” he says, shoving the box back at the God. Ares stutters, utterly shocked, but doesn’t have a chance to refuse when he sees the hope in the young man’s eyes. He nods, “Alright, I’ll do it. Don’t you tell anyone about this though, got it?” Joxer nods and watches as Ares walks over to Gabrielle, who is now sitting on a couch next to Apollo. Ares nods at Apollo, then motions for him to leave. Gabrielle smiles gratefully, then stiffens when Ares sits next to her, fingering a small box. She starts to explain, “Look it was just a joke, I wasn’t serious. Truly, I’m not interested. Xena, you want to go give that to Xena, she’s much more your type and she loves you, I don’t.” He puts a hand over the girls mouth, “Shut-up. I know it was a joke and this is for you, but it’s not from me. It’s from an admirer, someone who really, really loves you.” He hands her the box and begins to walk away, but glances back when he hears her gasp. She smiles and slips the ring onto her finger, then smiles questioningly up at Ares. He nods and walks away, then nods and smiles at Joxer when he passes by.
Xena reaches out and grabs Ares by the arm, when he passes her, “Let’s see how it goes. I want to hear this,” she says meaningfully. He smiles, wraps an arm around her, and they listen in on the conversation between Gabrielle and Joxer. Gabrielle walks over and sits next to Joxer, “Hey, did you know that someone was in love with me? Whoever it is just sent Ares over with a beautiful ring.” She holds the ring out to Joxer and he nods at it, “It’s beautiful,” he says, about to cry. She nods, “Yes it is, too bad I have to return it.” His head shoots up, “Why?” She shrugs, “It wouldn’t be right for me to keep this, when my heart belongs to someone else,” she says, eyeing him with a smile. He looks down, “You deserve that ring. Keep it. Whoever your heart belongs to is very lucky.” She smiles, “Yes, I suppose you are. Now, if you want me to keep this ring, you had best give it to me properly.” “Me?” He asks, confused. She nods, “I’m in love with you, Joxer.” He smiles and slips the ring onto her finger, then moves closer to her. She smiles and kisses him, then pulls away when she hears clapping. She looks around and sees Xena and Ares, standing together, clapping. Soon Aphrodite joins in. And after that, everyone else does too. She turns to Joxer, “Let’s humor them,” she says, wrapping her arms around him and passionately kissing him. As they grow more intense, Xena and Ares look away, no longer wanting to hear the conversation.
Ares plops onto a couch and Xena lands on his lap playfully. He smiles and kisses her lightly. She moves to sit next to him, “What you did for Joxer, that was real sweet.” He grunts, “Don’t go telling the whole world.” She smiles, then looks upset, “Now, if only you could do things as properly as Joxer just did. At least he was able to regive her the ring,” she says, eyeing the ring on her finger. Ares sets her comment aside and changes the subject, “So, are you enjoying yourself?” She shakes her head, “No.” He jumps a little, “Why not? What’s wrong?” She sighs, “Well, you see I’m stuck with this charming God who has emotional problems and he just won’t let me in. What’s worse is he keeps denying his feelings and yes I’m talking about you and yes this is happening and yes I love you. Now give me this ring properly or else,” she says, throwing the piece of jewelry at him. She sighs, having almost lost her nerve in the middle of her little speech. She turns her back to him and catches Aphrodite’s concerned look. She winks at the Goddess, who smiles brightly and shrugs at her brother who is also eyeing her. He wraps an arm around Xena and whispers into her ear, “I love you.” She turns to face him, still having an irritated look on her face. He takes her hand and places ring on her finger and she smiles brightly, then lets a cool look shadow her face, “I guess that will do. I mean I was expecting-.” He cuts her off, claiming her mouth with his own. After several moments he pulls away and meets her eyes. They are shining brightly, “That’s more like it. Now get your hand out of the back of my dress and lets go mingle with the family.” He smiles and removes his hand, taking the hidden dagger out. She gasps, “Traitor,” she says, trying to retrieve it. He shakes his head, “If I can’t have my sword, you can’t have a dagger.” As they pass Aphrodite, he hands the dagger to her, “Looky what I found.” She looks upset, “Xena! How could you?” She whines. Xena shrugs, “You told me to get rid of the one on my thigh, not the one in the back of my dress.” Ares looks hurt, “There was one on your thigh and you didn’t let me get it?” Xena shoves him and he knocks into Aphrodite, who squeals and accidentally flings the dagger into Athena’s back. Her eyes go wide as Athena turns around and removes the dagger. Aphrodite waves at her in a girlish manner, then walks over, with Ares and Xena following close behind, just in case there was trouble. Aphrodite smiles, “Don’t do anything to me Athena, I know what goes on with you and Alanis when no ones watching.” Athena goes red and Ares and Xena both raise an eyebrow. Ares wraps an arm around Athena in a brotherly way, “And here I was thinking that you had men lined up all over the place. Well, if I change men to women, then maybe I’ll have it right.” Athena growls at him and puts the dagger into his stomach. He jerks away and removes it, handing it back to Aphrodite. He shakes his head as him and Xena walk off, “What would father say?” He asks mockingly. He hears a growl behind him and smiles broadly.
After hours of partying, Aphrodite looks around and sees that she is the only one left standing. Hercules had taken to the drink after seeing Ares and Xena asleep together on a couch. Gabrielle and Joxer were cuddled together on a couch across from Xena and Ares. Originally they had been talking, now they were sound asleep. Cupid had to leave because Bliss was acting up. Zeus and Hera had gotten into a fight and were asked to leave by Aphrodite. Autolycus was asleep with is head resting on Artemis’ chest. The Hunt Goddess had taken a liking to him. Salmoneus had gotten knocked out when he tried to sell a masculinity potion to Apollo. Of course this caused Aphrodite to kick Apollo out of the party. Discord was passed out by Hercules and the punch bowl. Hephestus never did show up in the first place. And finally there was Athena and Alanis. They had found a nice dark corner to crawl into and fall asleep. Aphrodite sighs, again she was all alone, but at least she had brought a few couples together and she had a good time doing it too. She smiles contently and pulls up a chair between the two couches that hold the sleeping love birds. She lets herself fall into it and her dress spreads gracefully over the chair. She smiles and lets her head rest on her brother’s free shoulder. She feels him stir a little, but he doesn’t wake and she let’s out of sigh of relief, after all the God of War is not known for being the happiest of people when he’s woken up. Her eyelids begin to flutter shut. She lazily reaches up and fixes her hair, then lets herself fall into a perfect dream all about her perfect self.
-End
Aphrodite appears in a very pretty valley. She looks around and sees Gabrielle sitting by a tree, writing in a scroll, “Haven’t you learned your lesson from all that scroll business?” She asks sarcastically as she goes to sit next to the bard. Gabrielle’s head shoots up, “Hi, Aphrodite. What’s wrong? Someone steal a precious gem from your temple or do you need us to steal one for you?” Aphrodite giggles, “No, nothing like that. Actually, I wanted to talk to the warrior babe, where is she?” Gabrielle shakes her head, “Only you would call her that. She’s taking a bath in the lake.” Aphrodite smiles, “Thanks, doll. I’ll be back later. Tootles!” Aphrodite disappears in a shower of pink sparks. Gabrielle shakes her head and wipes her eyes until her vision returns to normal, “Only Aphrodite,” she mutters.
Aphrodite strolls up to the edge of the lake and whistles. She can see Xena turn around, but the warrior doesn’t make a move to come closer to shore. Aphrodite rolls her eyes, refusing to yell, and makes a pink shell appear out of nowhere. She smiles and stands on it, using it to sail out to Xena. Stopping the shell next to the swimming warrior woman, Aphrodite smiles and sits down, “Hey Xe, what’s up?” Xena looks up and gives her a half-irritated glare, “Are you really so bored as to take to torturing me?” She splashes the Goddess with some water and Aphrodite huffs, flicking the water off of her perfect body. Then she pouts, “Xena! I just wanted to talk to you about something... Or should I say someone,” the Goddess says with an evil smile. Xena rolls her eyes, “Alright, which warlord is messing up your temples?” When Aphrodite doesn’t reply, Xena starts to get a little concerned, “Aphrodite, what’s wrong?” The Goddess looks down at her, then turns to face the wind, “It’s Ar.” Xena shakes her head, “I don’t care what it is, the answer is no.” “It didn’t used to be,” Aphrodite snaps back. Xena looks away, knowing that the Goddess has a point, then quietly says, “Things have changed.” Aphrodite reaches out and puts a hand on Xena’s wet shoulder, “They can change again. And so can your wardrobe!” Xena looks startled, “What?” She asks carefully. The Goddess smiles as a plan forms itself in her perfectly blonde mind, “For the ball, Xena! I am inviting you, Gabrielle, and Joxer to an Olympian ball.” She sees Xena shaking her head and puts her hands up. “No protesting on this one Xena. It’s for old times sake. Everyone will be there. You see, the other Gods have been so busy, we haven’t had time to relax and catch up in a long time. This will be perfect,” the Goddess explains. Xena growls, “Why me?” Aphrodite squeals, “It’s not just you. I’ll be getting Hercules to come along. Maybe that friend of theirs, Salmoneus, he can be fun. Oh, and I’ll even invite Autolycus. And I’m sure the other Gods will be dragging in a few mortals, but I’m making sure I invite all the cool ones. So, you see, you have to come! Please? It won’t be a party without you!” Xena rolls her eyes, feeling herself being sucked into the black hole that is Aphrodite. “Fine,” she says, “But, what are you planning? And what does this have to do with Ares? You aren’t going to try some new love spell on me, are you?” Aphrodite giggles, “Nothing like that Xena. I just think everyone needs a chance to be together while we’re all not trying to kill each other. It will be a nice break from reality. Now, you tell Gabrielle and Joxer, I have a lot of work ahead of me. Two weeks, huh?” Xena nods, “Yeah, two weeks, Aphrodite.” The Goddess squeals with delight and disappears, taking her pink shell with her. Xena rolls her eyes and swims back to shore, “Just wait until Gabrielle gets a load of this one,” she mutters, while getting dressed.
Xena stalks into camp and drops her wet towel on Joxer, then lets herself drop to a log with a loud thud. Gabrielle looks up and Joxer gives her an annoyed look. Xena looks half apologetically at them, then declares, “We’re going to an Olympian party in two weeks.” That being said, she collapses into her bedroll and refuses to answer the questions that Gabrielle and Joxer are yelling at her. Finally Joxer returns to his bedroll and falls into a deep sleep. Gabrielle is not so lucky. She tries to go to sleep, but can’t. Finally she gives up and walks over to the lake. “Aphrodite, can I talk to you?” She asks the air. There’s no reply and she tries again, “Oh Mighty Aphrodite, Goddess of Love and Beauty, I, a humble mortal, ask for your presence and guidance.” At first there’s nothing, then there’s a flash and a dark, male figure appears, laughing. “She never answers mortals, not even you. Now Xena, maybe, doubtfully, but maybe,” Ares says, still laughing. Gabrielle rolls her eyes, “So why are you here?” He smirks, “To laugh at you and sense you’re so desperate for my ditsy sisters help and she won’t give it, I thought I would offer what help I could. After all I’m sure your problem has something to do with Xena and I am an expert in that department.” Gabrielle stares at him, then throws him for a loop, “Well, you see it all started when your were mortal.” He nods, slightly curious. She smiles evilly, then turns to stare at him, “You see, I couldn’t help it. I’m only mortal. But I fell for you. I can’t explain it, but I think I love you.” He stares at her, true fear written on his face, then disappears. Gabrielle breaks into laughter, “Score,” she whispers, then continues to laugh. She jumps when a higher laugh joins her. Behind her stands Aphrodite in all her splendor, “Hi toots. That was great. He is now trying to find me to see what kind of spell I have on you. Wait, you don’t love him, do you? I mean I’m not picking anything up, but you don’t, right?” Gabrielle nods, “I don’t love him. I just wanted to get rid of him and get your attention.” Aphrodite huffs, “I’ve been played! Well, sense I’m here, what’s up?” Gabrielle sighs, “What’s this I hear about an Olympian ball?” Aphrodite smiles, “That’s all you wanted to know and hear I was thinking it had to do with Joxer or something.” Gabrielle’s eyes go wide and a stricken look covers her face. Aphrodite dismisses it, “It’s just a little get together. Nothing big. The Gods and a few mortals, that’s all. It will be fancy though, so find something nice within the next two weeks. And try to get Xena excited about it. She loves these things, or at least she used to and I want her to enjoy herself.” Gabrielle nods and the Goddess disappears. Gabrielle shakes her head, “Later,” she says to the wind. She returns to camp, happy to know what’s going on and still giggling about her little confession to Ares. Soon she falls to sleep, having dreams about Olympus and scantily clothed Gods.
Aphrodite jerks when someone grabs her arm from behind, “Hey! If that leaves a mark, I swear,” she starts, turning around, then seeing Ares, she relaxes, “Oh, Ar, it’s just you. Oh! I’ve got some amazing news for you.” His eyes blaze, “Shut-up Aphrodite. What in Tartarus did you do to Gabrielle?” Aphrodite looks confused, playing the bards game to a T, “Nothing, why?” “Why?” He shouts. Seeing that his sister is clueless, he calms down, “She’s in love.” Aphrodite nods, “Yes, mortals do that.” He starts to pace, “No! She’s in love with me.” Aphrodite gasps in shock, “I don’t believe it. I’ve never picked up anything from her like that, well, except for that one time and oh yeah that other time. Why didn’t I put two and two together sooner. Who would of thought that I could get ten from it?” He looks confused, “Four,” he corrects, then waves a hand in dismissal, “Fine, well, fix it, alright?” The Goddess shakes her perfect head, making her curls bounce, “No can do, Bro. This is for real. You have to deal with it on your own. Maybe you could enlist Xena’s help at the Olympian ball in two weeks. They’re all invited.” His eyes go wide, “Ball?” He asks. She smiles happily, “Yes, I thought that sense there’s nothing earth shattering going on right now, we could all get together with a few of the cool mortals and just chill. It’s been so long sense we’ve had a family party.” He shakes his head, “I won’t be going.” She grabs his arm and her nails dig in a little, “Oh yes you will. I’m putting this together for you and the warrior babe, so you’re going to be there. In fact, I think you’re going to help me hand out invitations. But, your first mission is to talk to Xena and see if she needs help with a dress and stuff, you know how good you are with that sort of thing. And face it, she wears the same thing everyday for a reason. She needs help. Don’t mention the bard thing to her though, let her find out on her own.” He nods weakly, knowing better than to argue with his sister. She smiles, “Good, now your little Xena is awake, of course so is everyone else, but go have a talk with her, will you?” He nods and disappears, glaring at his sister.
Ares arrives in the middle of Xena’s camp, standing in the fire. She glares at him, then stifles back a laugh as he notices the fire and steps out of it. “Hello, Ares,” Gabrielle greets from her perch near a tree. He looks over at her and she begins to bat her eyes and smile seductively. He rolls his eyes and grabs Xena’s arm, “We need to talk, alone. It will only take a minute.” She nods and smiles at seeing him so uncomfortable. “I’ll be right back,” she says to Gabrielle, who’s smiling broadly. Ares half drags her until they reach the lake. She finally jerks away from him, “Alright, what’s going on?” He begins to pace in front of her and she taps her foot with impatience. He stares at the foot, the naked foot and smiles a little, then looks up at her pointed face and grimaces, before resuming his pacing. She sighs and grabs his arm as he paces in front of her. She sits down and jerks him until he sits next to her. She quickly removes her hand from his arm, “What’s wrong?” “Nothing,” he snaps. She suppresses a giggle, “Not happy about the ball, huh?” He shakes his head, then nods, seeing it as cover for the truth, “I’m happier about it than you, I’m sure. At least I know how to dress,” he says sarcastically. She glares at him, “Is that why you’re here? To make sure that I look perfect for Aphrodite’s little party?” He nods, “Strict orders from the Goddess of Love herself. So, what do you need?” She laughs, then replies sarcastically, “Oh nothing. After all I carry a dress in my saddle bag and I have more pieces of jewelry than I can count. Oh and shoes, well those I can just pick up anywhere.” He smiles at her sarcasm, “You have no clue, huh?” She nods and looks away. “Don’t worry,” he starts, “Get stuff for Gabrielle and Joxer, I’ll take care of you. I’m sure I can find something suitable,” he says, eyeing her figure through the leather bodice. She glares at him, “Two weeks, then?” He nods, “Probably before. After all you don’t want to get stuck with something you don’t like.” She curls her lip at him and starts back for camp. He appears beside her, “What? No good-bye kiss?” She glares at him, then just to throw him for a loop(everyone wants to do that right now), she quickly wraps her arms around him and pulls him into a passionate kiss. She moves back and he stares at her as she walks away, swaying her hips slightly. He shakes his head, “Women,” and disappears.
A week later, Aphrodite finds herself in full party mode, decorating and giving out details left and right. Finally finding herself with a free moment, she goes to hunt down her brother. She finds him brooding in the Halls of War. She appears in front of him and sits herself down on a fluffy pillow that appears from thin air. “So, still bummed about that last war?” He rolls his eyes, “I didn’t have anything riding on that war, Dite.” She smiles and looks intrigued, “Well, if not bummed about a war, then there’s only one thing left, girl trouble. Dish it,” she orders. He glances down at her and seeing an honestly interested face staring up at him, he gives in, “It’s this whole thing with the bard. Earlier today, I popped up to convince Xena to fight in that little battle I had going, which she did, even if she was fighting against my army. But, that’s not the point, the point is that girl! She sat there smiling and batting her eyes at me. Dite, she was checking me out! I have never been that uncomfortable.” Aphrodite laughs, she had never thought that Gabrielle would keep the act up so long, “Just stay away from Gabrielle. If you just have to talk to Xena, go when the bard isn’t around. You need to use your brain once in awhile, Ar. Now onto more important things! Xena’s outfit, how’s it going?” He nods and smiles wickedly, then snaps his fingers. Aphrodite smiles at the royal blue dress that flouts in front of her. She looks it over, smiling at the low V-neckline, the bar back and the off the shoulder sleeves. She looks down, seeing how stick straight it is and her smile broadens. Her eyes land on the shoes and she rolls her eyes, “Ar, do you remember Xena in heels?” He smiles wickedly remembering her falling into him because of heels and Aphrodite shoves him a little. “Fine, no heels,” he says cutting the bottoms off of them. Aphrodite shakes her head and grabs the shoes, making them into a real pair of flats in a matching shade of blue. “What about jewelry?” The Goddess asks, returning the shoes to their flouting position. He shrugs, “She has what I want her to wear. She took the sapphires with her when she left. She’ll never admit that, of course, but she has them.” Aphrodite nods, “I thought you didn’t give her the ring.” I didn’t,” he responds, “I will though.” She smiles and gives him a hug, letting herself fall onto his lap, “So, when are you going to take this to Xena?” He shrugs, “The party’s still a few night away, so I’ll bring it to her the night before. Then she can yell if she doesn’t like it and I can find something else.” Aphrodite giggles and kisses his cheek, then jerks away a little, “Groody, Bro! Did we forget how to shave? Or is this how you plan to get rid of Gabrielle?” He stands up, letting Aphrodite slide off his lap, “I’ll deal with it later,” he says, annoyed. Aphrodite shrugs, “Well, I’ll see you at the party if not before. Later Bro!” Ares sighs as his sister disappears, after all she can get quite annoying after awhile.
Xena sighs as she sits on a rock in a small clearing, watching the sunset. It’s the night before the party and she hadn’t heard anything about it sense that original meeting with Aphrodite. A tingle goes up her spine and she arches a brow, “Hello Ares.” He appears beside her, carrying a leather bag. He hands it to her, then sits down next to her on the log. Xena reaches into the bag and pulls out a dainty pair of shoes. She glances at him, “No heels? I’m amazed,” she says sarcastically. He smiles, “If I had brought heels, you would have worn your boots.” She smiles, then pulls out the dress. For a minute the smile disappears and he looks down, “You don’t like it, do you?” She smiles again and her eyes twinkle a little, “It’s amazing. I like it.” He smiles. She reaches back into the bag and finds nothing else in it. She turns to him questioningly, “No jewelry? I’m amazed.” He smirks, “You already have it. You took the sapphire necklace, bracelet and earrings with you when you left, remember?” She smiles, “Those, yes I remember. And yes, I still have them.” He nods, “Uh, there was one thing missing from the set, here,” he says, handing her a small box, “Don’t open it yet. You’ve had enough surprises for one night. Anyway, the bard is looking for you. I’ll see you tomorrow. I think Aphrodite will be coming to get you three. She has me scheduled to deal with Hercules, Salmoneus, and Autolycus. Don’t I get the fun people?” He says sarcastically. Xena smiles, but doesn’t get a chance to reply because Gabrielle has found them, “Hello, Ares, it’s been quite a long time,” the girl states, smiling seductively, pretending to check him out. Ares nods and disappears. “Score four,” Gabrielle whispers. Xena looks over at her friend, then puts her gown into the bag before Gabrielle catches sight of it.
Several hours before the ball, Xena and Gabrielle are in a room in Athens Inn of Gifts, trying to get dressed. Gabrielle slips into a baby blue dress that fits tightly. She pulls on a simple necklace of silver and blue beads with a matching bracelet. She turns to Xena and smiles, “We match,” she says as she slips into a pair of heels. Xena smiles, and motions for Gabrielle to help her clasp her necklace shut. Finally dressed, Xena sighs and sits on the bed. The bag that had held the dress falls to the floor and a light clunk can be heard. Gabrielle bends over and searches in the bag until she finds a small box. She hands it to Xena. Xena smiles, slightly embarrassed. She opens the box and inside rests a silver colored ring with a sapphire surrounded by diamonds in the shape of a heart. Her cheeks redden as Gabrielle gasps. Xena puts the ring aside, but Gabrielle forces it back into her hand, “Xena, it completes the set and it’s beautiful. Put it on, straighten your hair, and get that look off your face. I’m going to get Joxer, then we can wait for Aphrodite together.” Xena nods and does as she’s told as Gabrielle leaves the room. The bard walks down the hall and knocks on the door next to hers, “Joxer, it’s me, are you ready?” She hears shuffling inside, then the door opens and there stands Joxer in a black suit with a shirt that oddly matches Gabrielle’s dress. An untied tie rests around his neck. “Hi, Gabby.” She smiles at him and reaches up to fix the tie. “Let’s go, Xena’s waiting for us.” He stares at her for a minute then runs to catch up with her and open the door for her. She smiles at him, “Thanks,” she says. As they walk into the room, they are greeted by Aphrodite in an elaborate, yet skin showing pink dress with a slit that goes far too far up the side and a neckline that dips a little too much. “Ready?” The Goddess asks. The three nod and the room begins to melt around them.
Gabrielle and Joxer stumble when their feet hit solid ground again. Xena takes it all in stride and quickly surveys the area. She glances over at Aphrodite and sees the Goddess giving her a dirty look. The woman reaches over and dips her fingers into Xena’s bosoms to retrieve a dagger. She waves the dagger in front of Xena’s face, then motions towards her thigh, “I’m not going after that one, but you aren’t bringing that inside. Come on, take it off or I’ll find someone who will be more than happy to retrieve it.” Xena glares, then hikes her dress up enough to pluck a dagger off of her thigh. She hands it to Aphrodite who beams. “Let’s get inside! I didn’t work so hard so that we could stand outside the doors.” She strides forward and swings the doors open, letting them into the brightly lit room. Xena blinks a little, then walks into the room, immediately scanning for her other mortal friends. Gabrielle walks in beside her and points to a far corner where Hercules is standing alone. As they head in that direction, Gabrielle passes by Ares and reaches out to get a handful. She smiles when he jumps and keeps walking. Xena leans over, “What are you doing?” She asks, laughter in her voice. Gabrielle smiles, “Playing.” They both laugh and strike up a conversation with Hercules.
Ares stares after the bard, then walks over to his sister, “Did you see that?” Aphrodite giggles, “I saw. And I saw how red you got. Go rescue the warrior babe, Herc is talking about the last monster he killed and she looks bored.” He looks over at Xena and sees her politely listening, then watches as Hercules’ eyes wonder towards her chest. He rolls his eyes and leans over to his sister, “That is disgusting.” She smiles, “Go rescue her.” He looks back over and finds the bard staring at him, then turns away as she blows him a kiss. “I think I’ll wait for the bard to walk away,” he says to his sister. Aphrodite laughs. “Alright, I’m getting the message: Dite get rid of her for two seconds, so my face can go back to its normal color. I get it Ar,” she says strolling over to grab Gabrielle by the arm. She leans close to the short blonde, “Ar wants to dance,” she says while leading Gabrielle over towards her brother. Ares stares at the two approaching women with anger. Gabrielle smiles and eyes him, then grabs his vest and drags him to the dance floor. He glances at his sister, who is laughing lightly while trying to talk to Hera about something or other. He sighs and dances with the bard, trying not to jerk every time she lets her hands wander.
Xena smiles at Hercules, then looks for Gabrielle. She takes in everything, expecting to find her friend near the food bar, then still not finding her glances at the dance floor. She gasps and begins to laugh, making herself fall into Hercules. His gaze follows hers and shock registers on his face when he sees Gabrielle hanging on his brother and occasionally letting a hand wander. He pushes Xena upright, then playing the good guy, stalks over to interrupt the dance. After a few minutes he returns, looking rejected, “What’s up with Gabrielle? I tried to help her out, but she wouldn’t come with me. And Ares actually looked afraid. Xena, what’s going on?” Xena stops laughing and strides over to Gabrielle. She taps her friend on the shoulder and raises an eyebrow, “Gabrielle, someone is looking for you over by the food bar. Oh, they have some awesome nutbread over there.” Gabrielle pretends to pout, then smiles and turns to Ares, “I’ll be back soon, darling.” He nods weakly and turns to Xena, who has started to walk away. He grabs her arm and pulls her back until she loses her balance and falls into him. “Yes?” She asks, arching her eyebrow. “Thanks,” he says quietly, then asks, “Does she really love me?” Xena smiles and plays along, “Well, from what she says in her sleep, yes she does.” He shakes his head and looks disgusted, “Just my luck.” Xena smiles, “Follow me,” she orders. As quickly as possible she leads him into a quiet corner out of sight of everyone else, “She won’t find you here. Although I never knew the God of War was one to hide from a little girl.” He looks irritated, then smiles, “This is some crazy game, isn’t it? This is your sick idea of revenge because I banged Hope.” Xena bursts into laughter and playfully hits his chest, “I have nothing to do with this. It’s all Gabrielle. Look, you stay here or go face the love bird, I don’t care, but I’m going to go say hello to a few people and stop Autolycus from stealing your father’s lightening bolts.” She walks off and grabs Autolycus by the ear as she heads over to Aphrodite. “No more stealing,” she warns, releasing his ear. He rubs it gently, “Hello, Xena.” She smiles, “I need a favor from you.” He cocks an eyebrow at her and she continues, “Dance with Gabrielle for awhile. She’s been torturing someone for the past two weeks and I thought it might be nice to let the poor guy breath a little.” Autolycus nods and strolls over to Gabrielle. Aphrodite walks up next to Xena, “Aw, I was having so much fun watching her work. So, what’s wrong Xena?” The Goddess asks. Xena shrugs, “Nothing, but why is Artemis eyeing me like that?” Aphrodite glances at the other Goddess, then looks away, “She’s mad at you about some Amazon thing and a chick named Alti who doesn’t know how to bathe.” Xena nods, “I’ll avoid her then.” Aphrodite nods, then leans closer to Xena, “Want to know a secret?” Xena nods, playing the Goddess’ game. Aphrodite squeals, “There’s two! First, Joxer and Gabby are so going to get it on before the night is over. And second, my brother is in love... With you.” Xena turns to the Goddess, but Aphrodite has disappeared and is now talking to Salmoneus about a theme song. Xena shakes her head, then jumps when someone wraps their arms around her from behind. She turns to find Ares there and jerks away from him a little, “Reminiscing?” He nods and puts an arm around her waist. She shakes her head, but doesn’t attempt to move, instead she says, “Your sister thinks you’re in love with me. You would think that the Goddess of Love would know the difference between love and lusty hormones.” He nods again, “She does,” he replies simply. She nudges him, “Look, I don’t want to screw up her little party by fighting with you, so let’s get one thing clear: Don’t try to lie to me tonight.” He nods, “Okay, I haven’t lied yet and won’t any other time,” he agrees. He leans closer and whispers, “Do me a favor?” She arches an eyebrow, “What is it?” She asks quietly. He smiles, knowing her answer, “I want to make Hercules and Discord jealous. But I can’t do that without your help.” She smiles and nods, “I’ll help. Discord and I have issues and Hercules was staring at my chest. What’s your plan?” He smiles evilly and kisses her passionately. She begins to pull away, ready to slap him or knee him, but soon finds herself unable to do anything other than return his kiss. He pulls back after a few minutes and eyes her, “This just got inappropriate,” he says quietly. She raises an eyebrow questioningly. He smiles and squeezes her legs which are wrapped around him. She blushes and pushes him a little, then lands cleanly on her feet. She looks around, trying not to meet his eyes, then finds that everyone is staring at them. Her blush grows and she begins to walk to the food bar. Ares follows her, carefully avoiding his mother’s gaze.
Xena shakes her head, trying to clear it, and before she knows it, she has run straight into Hera. She groans, “Hello Hera.” Hera smiles evilly, “It’s good to see that some things never change, Xena. It looks like your attraction to my son is still as strong as ever. And as inappropriate as it was before.” Xena smiles coolly, “Yes, Hera, it looks like I still control him even after all of these years.” Hera sniffs, then her expression softens, “Don’t hurt him again, Xena. A mother can only forgive a person so many times. If you’re just going to use him and leave, do yourself a favor and stop this before it goes any farther.” Xena’s eyes go wide, “So, it’s true, isn’t it? He loves me, doesn’t he?” Hera nods slowly and smiles at her son, who is watching them closely. Then she turns back to Xena, “It surprised me at first too. But, I can feel it now and I accept it. My son needs someone in his life to remind him of where his loyalties lay.” The Queen of the Gods shakes her head, “I want to see him happy.” Xena nods and walks away, heading towards Aphrodite. She grabs the Goddess roughly by the arm, “What did you do to me?” Aphrodite shakes her head, “Not me, babe and not Cupie either or Bliss. This is all you. I can feel it, Gods everyone in this room can feel it and they just saw it. Xena, I have a theory. I know that you loved him before, so at least as close to love as you could get in those days. When you turned good, you thought that you had to leave him and that whatever you two had was over. But it wasn’t and every time you saw him, you were reminded of that and you hated him for making you feel like that. Stop me when I go astray from the truth. So anyway, he’s going through the same feelings and convinces himself that he can force you back. But you, never being one to respond well to force, fight against him until you’re both convinced that you hate each other. But in the quiet of the night, you both know the truth and it’s tearing you both up on the inside. Being here is reminding you both of the old days when I held one of these parties every month and you two would come and then, um, have your own private party in a dark corner.” Xena blushes and Aphrodite smiles, “Of course I knew, silly. Now, why don’t you try to let those feelings out of the box and go have a good time with my big Bro. But first, I need you to convince Herc not to do something stupid like what he just did,” she says, exasperatedly. A punch bowl flies towards a far wall and Xena whips around to see the beginnings of a fight between Hercules and Ares. She flips over and lands between the two, eyeing each in turn. Xena fixes Hercules with a steely gaze, “Stop,” she orders. Hercules stutters a little, then sighs when her expression doesn’t change, “You can’t be serious,” he breathes. Xena smiles, “I’m trying to enjoy myself. If you don’t like it, don’t look.” Ares smiles at his younger brother, a smiles full of mockery and Xena turns to glare at him, “Don’t provoke him. Be nice to each other for this one night, that’s all I ask.” Tentatively she steps out from between the two. They nod at each other, neither happy with the situation. Hercules walks off muttering, until Gabrielle stops him, “She loves him,” she says quietly, “Give her a chance to find happiness, I am.” Hercules glares at her, then shrinks down a little and nods weakly. Gabrielle smiles, “Come on, let’s dance,” she says, dragging him to the dance floor.
Xena smiles at the newest couple on the floor, then her eyes land on Joxer, who’s sitting all by himself. Ares follows her gaze and smiles sadly at the poor lad. He stops Xena from going over to him and goes himself. Xena smiles and watches the two. “Hey Joxer, why are you all alone? Lot’s of pretty women around here, of course most are my sisters, so maybe you should keep your hands off them,” the God says, trying to get a smile from the distraught man. Joxer doesn’t respond, but holds out a little box. Ares takes it and opens it to reveal a gold ring with a dolphin on it and a diamond, he nods, “It’s really nice, but I’m not interested in you like that. I kind of prefer females in leather with swords and hidden daggers and a Chakram. Of course when that same women is in a dress with hidden daggers, I’m just as happy.” Joxer snatches the box away, “It’s not for you! It’s for Gabrielle,” he says quietly. Ares nods, “I know, but it isn’t getting any closer to her when it stays in your pocket. Go give it to her or if you can’t, have someone else give it to her.” Joxer looks up at the God, “Would you? That would be great,” he says, shoving the box back at the God. Ares stutters, utterly shocked, but doesn’t have a chance to refuse when he sees the hope in the young man’s eyes. He nods, “Alright, I’ll do it. Don’t you tell anyone about this though, got it?” Joxer nods and watches as Ares walks over to Gabrielle, who is now sitting on a couch next to Apollo. Ares nods at Apollo, then motions for him to leave. Gabrielle smiles gratefully, then stiffens when Ares sits next to her, fingering a small box. She starts to explain, “Look it was just a joke, I wasn’t serious. Truly, I’m not interested. Xena, you want to go give that to Xena, she’s much more your type and she loves you, I don’t.” He puts a hand over the girls mouth, “Shut-up. I know it was a joke and this is for you, but it’s not from me. It’s from an admirer, someone who really, really loves you.” He hands her the box and begins to walk away, but glances back when he hears her gasp. She smiles and slips the ring onto her finger, then smiles questioningly up at Ares. He nods and walks away, then nods and smiles at Joxer when he passes by.
Xena reaches out and grabs Ares by the arm, when he passes her, “Let’s see how it goes. I want to hear this,” she says meaningfully. He smiles, wraps an arm around her, and they listen in on the conversation between Gabrielle and Joxer. Gabrielle walks over and sits next to Joxer, “Hey, did you know that someone was in love with me? Whoever it is just sent Ares over with a beautiful ring.” She holds the ring out to Joxer and he nods at it, “It’s beautiful,” he says, about to cry. She nods, “Yes it is, too bad I have to return it.” His head shoots up, “Why?” She shrugs, “It wouldn’t be right for me to keep this, when my heart belongs to someone else,” she says, eyeing him with a smile. He looks down, “You deserve that ring. Keep it. Whoever your heart belongs to is very lucky.” She smiles, “Yes, I suppose you are. Now, if you want me to keep this ring, you had best give it to me properly.” “Me?” He asks, confused. She nods, “I’m in love with you, Joxer.” He smiles and slips the ring onto her finger, then moves closer to her. She smiles and kisses him, then pulls away when she hears clapping. She looks around and sees Xena and Ares, standing together, clapping. Soon Aphrodite joins in. And after that, everyone else does too. She turns to Joxer, “Let’s humor them,” she says, wrapping her arms around him and passionately kissing him. As they grow more intense, Xena and Ares look away, no longer wanting to hear the conversation.
Ares plops onto a couch and Xena lands on his lap playfully. He smiles and kisses her lightly. She moves to sit next to him, “What you did for Joxer, that was real sweet.” He grunts, “Don’t go telling the whole world.” She smiles, then looks upset, “Now, if only you could do things as properly as Joxer just did. At least he was able to regive her the ring,” she says, eyeing the ring on her finger. Ares sets her comment aside and changes the subject, “So, are you enjoying yourself?” She shakes her head, “No.” He jumps a little, “Why not? What’s wrong?” She sighs, “Well, you see I’m stuck with this charming God who has emotional problems and he just won’t let me in. What’s worse is he keeps denying his feelings and yes I’m talking about you and yes this is happening and yes I love you. Now give me this ring properly or else,” she says, throwing the piece of jewelry at him. She sighs, having almost lost her nerve in the middle of her little speech. She turns her back to him and catches Aphrodite’s concerned look. She winks at the Goddess, who smiles brightly and shrugs at her brother who is also eyeing her. He wraps an arm around Xena and whispers into her ear, “I love you.” She turns to face him, still having an irritated look on her face. He takes her hand and places ring on her finger and she smiles brightly, then lets a cool look shadow her face, “I guess that will do. I mean I was expecting-.” He cuts her off, claiming her mouth with his own. After several moments he pulls away and meets her eyes. They are shining brightly, “That’s more like it. Now get your hand out of the back of my dress and lets go mingle with the family.” He smiles and removes his hand, taking the hidden dagger out. She gasps, “Traitor,” she says, trying to retrieve it. He shakes his head, “If I can’t have my sword, you can’t have a dagger.” As they pass Aphrodite, he hands the dagger to her, “Looky what I found.” She looks upset, “Xena! How could you?” She whines. Xena shrugs, “You told me to get rid of the one on my thigh, not the one in the back of my dress.” Ares looks hurt, “There was one on your thigh and you didn’t let me get it?” Xena shoves him and he knocks into Aphrodite, who squeals and accidentally flings the dagger into Athena’s back. Her eyes go wide as Athena turns around and removes the dagger. Aphrodite waves at her in a girlish manner, then walks over, with Ares and Xena following close behind, just in case there was trouble. Aphrodite smiles, “Don’t do anything to me Athena, I know what goes on with you and Alanis when no ones watching.” Athena goes red and Ares and Xena both raise an eyebrow. Ares wraps an arm around Athena in a brotherly way, “And here I was thinking that you had men lined up all over the place. Well, if I change men to women, then maybe I’ll have it right.” Athena growls at him and puts the dagger into his stomach. He jerks away and removes it, handing it back to Aphrodite. He shakes his head as him and Xena walk off, “What would father say?” He asks mockingly. He hears a growl behind him and smiles broadly.
After hours of partying, Aphrodite looks around and sees that she is the only one left standing. Hercules had taken to the drink after seeing Ares and Xena asleep together on a couch. Gabrielle and Joxer were cuddled together on a couch across from Xena and Ares. Originally they had been talking, now they were sound asleep. Cupid had to leave because Bliss was acting up. Zeus and Hera had gotten into a fight and were asked to leave by Aphrodite. Autolycus was asleep with is head resting on Artemis’ chest. The Hunt Goddess had taken a liking to him. Salmoneus had gotten knocked out when he tried to sell a masculinity potion to Apollo. Of course this caused Aphrodite to kick Apollo out of the party. Discord was passed out by Hercules and the punch bowl. Hephestus never did show up in the first place. And finally there was Athena and Alanis. They had found a nice dark corner to crawl into and fall asleep. Aphrodite sighs, again she was all alone, but at least she had brought a few couples together and she had a good time doing it too. She smiles contently and pulls up a chair between the two couches that hold the sleeping love birds. She lets herself fall into it and her dress spreads gracefully over the chair. She smiles and lets her head rest on her brother’s free shoulder. She feels him stir a little, but he doesn’t wake and she let’s out of sigh of relief, after all the God of War is not known for being the happiest of people when he’s woken up. Her eyelids begin to flutter shut. She lazily reaches up and fixes her hair, then lets herself fall into a perfect dream all about her perfect self.
-End